2014/09/29

Advise: Surviving Mondays

...we all know how dull Mondays can be. The beginning of the week, all the plans ahead of us, still in that weekend mode, having to get up early in the morning, etcetera etcetera etcetera. But in the end, a Monday is just another day and we can't waste 52 days every year just because we're not "in the mood", right?

Source: Unknown.
Take your time to wake up. Nothing is worse in the morning than having to rush out of your house because you got up too late. I love sleeping, but getting up properly is worth more compared to a moody day. Set your alarm clock (half) an hour before you'd actually have to get up to be in time. Lay around, watch the sun rise, check your phone, read a book, drink a cuppa. The beginning of a good week needs to be slowly.

Write a To-Do-List/Schedule your appointments. You don't wanna become a chaotic person or miss anything that could be a stress cause, right? If you know when a task has to be done, you can prepare for it properly and work yourself into the issue.

Don't get worked up on things not going according to the plan. Something went wrong? Remedy the problem! We all know nothing is ever easy, so don't expect to solve everything smoothly. If you keep calm and relax whilst overthinking rationally, managing will be a lot less troublesome.

In case of emergencial (Word doesn't exist, I'm aware of that, but you get the hang of it, right?) boredom: Browse 9gag.com, scroll down on Twitter, laugh at ridiculous pictures or statuses on Facebook, check your Instagram feed, watch youtube videos - don't let yourself get caught though! Although, when you're working in a creative space like me, you can always claim to be looking for inspiration, just saying ;)

2014/09/26

Think: Life Savers

Hello, my dear fellas! Nope, I did not not feel like blogging in the past days, my brain simply didn't urge me to write something down. I always feel the need to get some thoughts, words in general, off my chest when something in my life isn't going the way I want it to. Or if I feel insignificant enough.
Enough rambling, I just wanted to say I'm feeling really good lately. Almost every day at least.
I'm trying to live by this quote every single day because
change is something we can accomplish anytime.
Source
The beginning of this week has been a bit of a throwback. I've met someone at the train station about one and a half weeks ago (Ran into him and then met him again at the bakery since both our trains were delayed, very smooth, I know. We got into a pretty nice conversation and in the end, he asked for my number. Cute, I thought.) Well, half a week later, on Monday, he started to not text back anymore without an actual reason, I swear I've sent a message he could've answered to as I've even asked a question. Feels terrible to be ignored like that. I've messaged him again on Wednesday, but oh, surprise, apparently someone didn't want to talk to me with the same vigour as days ago. I admit it hit me pretty hard given the fact I barely know him. He was just so nice. And I lack nice people anyway because half of my friends are now spread around the world and I can't meet them these days.
It reminded me of the guy I was once in love with. Only difference: It ended after nine months. Nine months of hoping, struggling, occasionally crying because I didn't understand anything anymore and then, on one day, the day I thought things would get sorted out now because he fucking told me he liked me (Sorry, I had to swear once.), it all went to hell. And hell went on until I've finished school. Haven't seen him since then, don't want to see him. Obviously that guy hurt me way more than this little flirt, but it's the memories. Memories of the good times, they've got the power to hit you like a wave in the stormy Sea.
Gonna pull myself together again.

My French course started on Thursday and oh my lanta, it's great. I love how the teacher and everyone else is constantly talking French. Did realize I was lacking quite a few basic words, but I wrote down all the vocabulary and I'll revise it until next time. The people are nice either, they're probably all somewhere around 50/60, but who cares. I've even met my former English teacher again. I went to her classes before I even attended primary school. I owe her a lot. Hearing correct English pronounciation and seeing the right spelling as a child who could memorize a lot was essential for me.

In addition, work contributes a lot to my emotional stability. I get to write, I get to be in an office with solely lovely editors, I get praise for my texts and I get feedback and tips. And I also love the background noises. Birds singing outside, fingers hitting the keyboard, printers, sometimes even music, ringing telephones. Others would perhaps be distracted, but for me it's the perfect work atmosphere.

Seems like my favourite editor likes my articles on music/bands/etc. I've written one about a band named Rhonda, another one on a musician called Fabian Bruck and now I'm probably going to interview the band Behind the Masquerade. Listened to their pieces today, and I bloodly love them. Their genre is Electro Rock. Me likes.
We'll see how it'll turn out.
Happy weekend! And you can never go wrong with a dark red lipstick.
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2014/09/19

Inspire: Friyay

Source: Unknown

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Guess you need an automatic car to hold hands...
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I don't necessarily like pineapples (unless they're on Hawaii Toast), but this just looks so cool.
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Someone build a fort and watch movies with me *.*
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These make me hungry.
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Relaxed atmosphere, just how I'd like to sit outside a restaurant at night :)
Source: Unknown

2014/09/18

Work: The Work Experience #5

I don't feel like blogging today to be fair, but I've got some time to kill so this is what it came down to.

I can already picture my last day in the office - it'll be horrible. I've grown to like these people I see daily so, so much because they're always up for a joke, they care about what you're saying. Of course, they're only colleagues, but they all seem to be like one big friend group. And I love how we're all sitting together at lunch, talking about our day or the stories we're working at. Today, the volunteer in the local office came next to me and whispered something about our boss in my ear. That moment was a bit weird, I have to admit, since he was really close to me. He is in a relationship and doesn't seem like "that" kinda guy, yet it was still an awkward situation. Though he didn't seem to notice my irritation, haha.

This comes closest to how it looks in the office. Pictures and plans on the
walls everywhere, I love thatcreative atmosphere.
Source
 I'm considering to give everyone a little present before I'm leaving. A very, very little present. I already do have some ideas that might be cute. Man, I don't want to pause working in an office for a few years, whilst I'm studying, I wish I could just skip this time.
On the other hand, I don't want to miss that experience either. Which is kinda of a struggle.

I've edited a video today and I think I did good work. I love how you never know what's going to be your task next, apart from the dates and articles which are planned before. I daily learn something new about how to write and if I don't know how to do something best, I can count on someone's support.

This is it for today, guys. I'm just too lazy today, drank five cups of coffee because I lack sleep from going to bed at only 2 am these days. Whoops.

2014/09/14

Review: We Were Liars

Can you believe I've managed to finish a book again? Two today, to be correct. This one and Harry Potter 6 (because I might be very close to the deadline as I borrowed it from the library and yeah, I still haven't read all of the HP books. Now I'm watching the movie and I think it's my least favourite one so far. Lavender Brown is the most annoying person in the whole series.)
225 pages of pure amazingness.
To get back to my actual motivation for this post: We Were Liars. It's on my Amazon wishlist and luckily, one of my best friends let me lend it from her.
At first you don't really know what to make out of the whole story. There's Cadence Sinclair Eastman. Beautiful, rich, 18 years old, with a group of friends (which are her cousins and another friend of them) on the island her grandfather owns. They see each other every summer.
Soon you get sucked into Cadence's way of telling you her story and you begin wondering what's happened to the happy, blonde girl, who's now on medication and has died her hair black. I admit I had several theories but in the end, none of them turned out to be true and the actual truth, the actual ending is more unexpected than I could have imagined. The twist is fantastic.

And the book is fantastic as well because it's a splendid example of how you can play with words, their meanings, variate them, use them for confusion and mystery. I loved the style of writing, a mix out of poetry and literarian story-telling. Probably not for everyone though.

There's not much else I want to say about it, except: Read it and see what it does to your mind for yourself. And pay attention to the words. The matter most if you want to get behind it. Definitely a 100/10.

I'm in a very pathetic mood today and I think reading this book triggered it. Cadence can't remember fragments of her past, of the night in which her accident happened.
I can only remember fragments either. Probably even less.
My childhood memories are what I managed to put together with the help of the stories my parents and grandparents always tell me and some old pictures I found. Nevertheless, I can only remember those moments, I can't connect them. You know you're sort of losing your sanity when you have to start analyzing yourself in order to figure out what happened. I guess what happened is that there were too many bad memories in primary school and the first years of high school so I had to shut out everything.
And I can't remember the good memories I've made during this years, only to compensate what the bad ones have done to me. Looking back at it, I wished I had faced them. I know "What ifs" won't help the situation, but let's distance ourselves from rationality for a bit.
What if I had told my parents about the bullying? What if I had shown everyone how much I suffered instead of playing along and pretending I was okay, that what they said didn't strike me?
I know that, admitting to be too weak to deal with it on my own, as a little girl of 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 years would have had a less intense impact on me. You're always wiser in the end, right, aha. If someone had know what was going on, maybe they could have stopped it. Maybe I wouldn't be as distrusting and afraid of things and people I don't know, wouldn't want to run away from experiences who require me to take a risk. Because hell yes, I want to discover the world and see lots of what it has to offer, but I'm so scared I would probably panic if I was standing at the airport and run as far as my feet would take me. I hate how I know this is connected to my past and I can't help it, I can't make any severe changes anymore.
I think those feelings and thoughts are the reason why I still can't forgive the people I grew up with. They were children, they didn't know what they were doing - and yet I still find myself wanting to punch them in the face, just once. Because they aren't even aware of what they did to me.

Sometimes it's easier to put all the blame on others. And yet there's so much else to regard that contributes to the whole picture, to the person I am today.

A person reaching for freedom whilst being terrified of losing their safety.

Pretty sure I shouldn't out this out here on the interwebs (I like that word, yep), but I don't care. That people can't hurt me as much as they used to anymore is at least a little progress. Although, depends if you want to call it progress when you sometimes feel a little more heartless inside.

Sorry, I just realized this post must have seemed really disturbing to you. Don't worry, I'm okay, I promise.

2014/09/13

Live: The Week #5/6

11 days. I've let my blog down and I've let you down, I'm aware of that. I just really had to get my life together first and now I'm ready to tell you something about it again.
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Thumbs up: Postcards from Down Under. No, not Australia (although that's probably the original "Down Under"), but from New Zealand where my best friend is at right now. Pinned it to my wall and the motive isn't the 0815 typical tourist view, but there's a tree in the friend framing the skyline of Auckland. Beautiful.
Thumbs down: Heavy rain. Christ, it seems like people forget how to drive and turn crazy once it rains so heavily that you can only see the ten metres in front of you. I was so happy to get out of my car that day.

Discovered: that it's a bad idea to text people after months and years of not talking. They are surprised, you are nostalgic and when they're picking up exactly where you'll have, it's getting complicated. Should not have done that, really shouldn't have done that.
Planned: to sign up for two language courses. The first one is meant to refresh my French, the second one is supposed to teach me proper Spanish. Aye. The even better part is they're in the morning, so I won't have trouble paying attention.

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Waited: for this weekend cause there's a volleyball "camp" where we're practicing from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. It feels incredible to be doing sports again. Although my foot signalizes me it's been enough for today. Hope it's going to play along tomorrow as well.

Quote: I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me. - Tracee Ellis Ross
Music: Anything by the band Rhonda. I guess they'll always have this special feeling to their music because their concert was the first one I attended without freaking out of panic. I think knowing I was going to write an article about it kept me sane and made me see it in a more realistic, professional way.
Food: Butterscotch cookies. Best sweets ever.

2014/09/01

Live: This Month: August

Believe me, guys, I am so sorry for not posting regularly. I was aiming at a post every two days. Turns out I don't have any time or inspiration to write one. I feel like my lack of creativity corresponds with my lack of energy these days. So I'm just going to ramble on and once I'm done and in case you'll reach the end, I beg your pardon for the following lack of structure or  entertainment. Because this is pretty much going to be a simple summary of life problems I'm having right now.

August always used to be the ultimate summer month for me where I'd visit
my aunt and uncle in a village in the Alps and just relax and daze in the sun or
wander through the endless forests. I missed that this year.
Source
What to begin with...
I haven't been allowed to do sports lately due to my wisdom teeth removal. Six weeks have passed now and I was fine until last week. Seems like my jaw isn't positioned the way it's supposed to be. Great. My mum's friend should be able to help me with it but it's still a pain. I feel so bad because my condition is in the cellar and I'm not even sure if I'll have enough time between work and volleyball practice when the summer holidays are over. Can't go any longer without sports.

The weather isn't exactly helping either. It's like the clowds would suck in my positive vibes and leave me drenched in a puddle of nonsense and too many serious thoughts.

Nearly everything gets to me. I'm annoyed how you can tell someone you consider as your friend that it kinda saddens/stresses you when they don't answer for days after you've asked them something or sent them a longer message. They've been " busy". But sending a short text that they'll reply later is too much to ask for. It strikes me a lot more who stays in contact with me and who doesn't since graduating school as I don't get to see everyone anymore.
And when I've been out with two of my friends on Friday, I tumbled into a slight nostalgia when I remembered how - months ago - we would have been around 10 in total. I forgot - that was before this girl agitated some of us against each other. At least that's my view on the whol affair. Nobody knows if our group would still be intact without her, but we'll never know. Yeah, I'm blaming her.

Bla. I'm gonna end this here and schedule another post. And wait for life to get less alien again.