2014/12/10

Blogmas Day #10: Think: Why You're Never Missing Out on Anything

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The words written on this photograph basically are my motivation for writing this post. It'll be a little more personal than my usual attempts on giving advice, but either way, I'll try my best to make sense.

Do you know this feeling, when you get to choose between endless possibilities? Graduating school, quitting a job, having another life changing experience - they can all turn things upside down? Why? Well, because you get to choose.
I'm a person who sadly is somehow obsessed with making the right choice because I'm scared of missing out on something important. Something I could regret afterwards. After finishing college, I got to choose between staying and leaving. I stayed. After my work experience at the newspaper will be over, I'll have to choose between staying and leaving again. Right now, I've got no idea which option to pick.
I'm not jealous of my friends who decided to travel the continent - my best friend is in New Zealand for a year, another friend is going to America and Australia soon -, I rather admire their courage to go on an adventure on their own. No doubt this will be an incredible experience, they'll get to meet new people, new cultures, new places, yet at the same time, everything will be different once they come back. My point is, I'm scared of both. Leaving and coming back. I've played several scenarios in my head, being a volunteer in Peru, applying for an internship in New Zealand, taking another language course, for example in Paris, to improve my French again...I guess I could do it.
If there wasn't the fear of leaving and coming back. Leaving because I know how badly I sometimes cope with different, unknown, foreign places. Just imagining what would happen if I completely lost my mind without anyone who knows how to calm me down around me is making me shiver. Coming back as it can be overwhelming sometimes - depending on where you've been and how long you stayed away from home - how much has changed. Change isn't bad, change is just what it is. Different again. So the home you're coming back to doesn't feel like the home you left. Maybe. For a while. And people change. They grow, they learn, they mature. And even people can grow out of each other. It just happens. Obviously it's not only dependent on how much time people spend apart from each other, but it can be a deciding factor. I'm already scared of how it'll be like once they come back.

At this point, perhaps you've already asked yourself "Where is the advice part now?". Guys, I had to come up with a nice introduction and this introduction happened to turn into one half of my actual post. (I have a habit of creating lists of pros and cons, this is roughly the same. Except the pro part is only upcoming.)

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I know they always say: You only live once, make the best of it, don't waste a minute, travel the world, cherish live, collect experiences you will tell your grand-children about one day. I subscribe that. Yet I also think, it's up to you to choose when your time is right. When it's time to stay and time to go, time to deal with the past or time to move on, time to do an internship and time to travel the world.
Make beautiful memories. Isn't that what it's all about? Where's the difference between a memory made abroad and a memory made at home? A memory that fills your heart with joy and your body with warmth once you think of it is what you're going to remember. Remember for good. I wish it hadn't took me so long to realize that in these pasts months, although I stayed, I learned. I learned how journalism works. How I really want to do this job. I grew as a person, started to believe more in myself. I changed. I was so close to just throwing my dream of being a writer out of the window and doing a job that's "safe", but really, what is even safe in this world? Law or economics aren't safe either! Everyone's studying law or economics or some I.T. related stuff right now, then there will be an overage and some people won't get a job. A rollercoaster is a nice metaphor for life. With all it's facets.

(By the way - I didn't feel like writing at all today. And how did it turn out? Ha.)

You miss out if you it's stuck in your mind that what you're doing right where you are somehow means less than what someone else is experiencing. That it's worth less. You don't miss out on anything if you're single until you're 18 (like me, paha). You don't miss out if you haven't had a boyfriend you could make out with on park benches (which is really often way too much for the public, but today's youth is hopeless anyway and I don't want to count myself to the youngster running around in Nike Air Max and leggings and crop tops). You don't miss out if you're not travelling after graduating. You don't miss out if you don't study right away, either.
You don't miss out, because there are no expectations you have to fulfill. There's no script you have to follow because the person who decides what's happening in your life is you. You do what feels right, at the time that feels right. Comparing yourself to others' paths is inevitable (honestly, who is so self-confident that they never ever just consider how someone else is doing? Exactly, no one.) but let's stick to comparing. And not feeling inferior.
Experiences never run away from you, au contraire, they nearly haunt you. You even bump into an experience if you drive your car and there's a traffic situation you've never been in before. Experiences are waiting for you. At home, outside the house, at university, in foreign countries. And they are special, no matter what. Cause nobody can say they've got equal experiences to someone else. So how can anybody claim they'd be better? More successful in life?
Yep.
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