2015/02/03

Review: A Year in Twelve Months - 2014 (Part 1)

Normally, I don't see much sense in dwelling on the past. The past is the past, what has passed, has passed. There's nothing you can change about the past and yet, the past changes you. Experiences influence our thinking, people leave marks on our heart, life forms our character.
I can say I'm a different Me today compared to who I was three hundred and sixty-five days ago.

January. My year began in a club, on the balcony, with a sparkler and my best friend Sarah around me. Quite an untypical event for me. A club, a crowd, loud music - no surrounding I usually feel comfortable in. But I decided for me that the leopard can change his spots. And so did I. It was a good feeling. Then my rabbit died and my world broke apart. It's how life goes, a human, an animal, a plant is born and some day, their time on earth is over. What I think is worst about death is when it comes sudden. I know many people are bad with goodbyes, but I wish I had had the chance to spent one full last day with my bunny. We rushed to the vet when he had a hard time breathing, she started to examine him and then he went limp. Just like that. I was so shocked I ran out of the room and outside because I felt like my lungs stopped grasping oxygen out of the air. I grew up with this little fluffball, my memories literally start the day I saw him. I remember I wanted this black introvert rabbit who didn't get along with the other bunnies and had a bad cold, but I decided I wanted him because he deserved a chance, too.
Sometimes I still feel like crying when I think about how less time I spent with him the nearer my final exams were, but I can't turn back time. So I accepted it. And I accepted that the life of a bunny doesn't last as long as the life of a human being. Whenever thinking back now, I smile because I remember how he learnt sitting up and then rolled on his back as he couldn't balance his weight yet. Or how he always hopped through the whole etage when he heard the rustling of food. I could go on forever, but I don't want to bore you. His death was a huge thing last year, which is why I dedicated all these lines to my furry friend.

February. February didn't necessarily go better, I got my heart broken. But if it taught me one thing, then that people who truly care about you will never ever play with your feelings or ignore your attempts to talk. They will not try to make you miserable, they will try to bring out the best in you and support you in harder times. If there's someone in your life who puts you down instead of lifting you up, say goodbye to them. And give them a smile once they realize what a precious person they have lost, before turning your back to them and walking away. Forever.

March. Oh dear god. My two last years in college have passed faster than I would've expected, but I enjoyed them. Being the editor of our graduation newspaper/magazine sort of thing was a tough, but enjoyable job. I sure know now that if I ever team up with people again, in projects, for exams, etc. I will pick out reliable ones because otherwise it'll be a desaster. You always get wiser, right. Then I took my A-Levels and got hammered which was great for once. Our party afterwards was great either as I had the chance to be the photographer for the night.
April. April was the month in which I got closer to my first boyfriend and spent a lot of weeknights out in bars and pubs and just outside, talking to people, drinking a beer or a cocktail, laughing, celebrating. Life was chill as the A-Levels were done and around eighty percent of the classes were cancelled, not that anybody would have minded. The attendance rate was very low.

May. Finally I could drive my car on my own and would not have to listen to my dad go on about some buttons here and there which I really don't need and have never pushed since. I also got some use out of my right to excuse me in school myself when I fell whilst sprinting and the wound on my knee got seriously infected. The scar looks pretty ugly, but it's starting to fade. Maybe my legs will be renewed by summer, haha. I could also drive to school during our final week, when we received our results and dressed in funny ways. Every day was dedicated to a different motto. It's a common tradition, I suppose. My results turned out better than I expected, especially in Maths because I seriously had a mental breakdown in that exam.

June. Matching to the final month in this post, I graduated from school in the first week of June. My oral exam went well, receiving our certificates was over pretty quickly and then another night of celebrating started. Then came prom and the night we all went clubbing. I went home with this guy who would be my boyfriend for the next weeks, and received my first ever kiss. It was better than I had expected.

If you want to know how my year went on, read the second part of this recap next Tuesday.

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